MY STORIES

Who I am, Where I’m AT

These are the stories, moments and memories that have led to who I am today. From my grandparents escaping persecution in Nazi-controlled Poland, to my own immigration to the United States years later. I invite you along my journey – a collection of crossroads and circumstances.

Life and History in Europe

I was born and raised in Poland during the fall of the country’s communist government. Every aspect of my youth was shaped by what Poland had been as well as what it was becoming. I didn’t understand until I was older why my grandmother always said the “milicja” (militia) instead of “policja” (police) when she talked about people getting arrested. I didn’t yet comprehend why people would be shot and killed by the police and still may never truly be able to accept the reality of these atrocities.

The resiliency of my people goes back to the 10th Century and the Piast dynasty, the first ruling family in Poland. Since then, we have been invaded, and many times destroyed, by the Ottomans, Holy Roman Empire, Mongols, Teutonic Knights, Russia, Germany and many others.

After the end of World War II, Poland was under Soviet dominance and authoritarian rule. This control lessened after Stalin’s death and eventually ended when the communist government fell. When Nazi Germany invaded Poland in 1939, they caused over six-million Polish casualties (about one-fifth of the pre-war population), along with countless other deaths. This occupation lasted for six years before the communists took control in 1945. Their authoritarian rule lasted until 1989, when I was four-years old.

I was born to Wioletta Kurzawa and Lucjan Trzaskus in Dębica where my mother was from. My father was born in Czarna. My parents fell in love young and my “mama” began motherhood at age 19, oceans away from her father who was temporarily working in the USA to support the family. But my story really begins with his - December 2, 1936, the birth of my grandfather.

Jan Kurzawa, My Grandfather

The most impactful person in my youth is unequivocally my grandfather Jan (John in English). Jan was a small child when Germany invaded Poland and his life was heavily affected by the war. He would tell many war stories, like the one of his aunt Bronisława Kurzawa who fought in the Warsaw Uprising in 1944 and had a littering of shrapnel inside her body due to German bombs. I was always in awe of these stories – real life trials, tribulations and triumphs of our family – and I hung on his every word.

When my grandfather was young, there was an increase in the number of round-ups to concentration camps near our home, people being taken for forced labor in Germany, or, even more grave, on-the-spot executions of Jewish and Polish people. Many members of our family were executed or sent to labor camps across Europe. Early on, the family was forced to move up in the hills of Gębiczyna to escape. The war, however, would eventually encompass all of Poland – nowhere, no matter how remote, was safe. One afternoon, Jan was sent to the meadow by his grandmother to bring back geese for dinner, suddenly two missiles fell out of the sky a few feet from him. By the mercy of god or luck, somehow the bombs didn’t explode due to the soft ground where they landed, but the experience made him realize that they were always a few feet from war and death.

The family then decided to build a refuge in the forest, and more often than not they would sleep on the bunker floor due to these frequent bombings. In fact, this became the setting of one of my favorite stories from my grandfather’s childhood – that of our family hiding a newly married Jewish couple underground. The Germans would constantly bring dogs to find and execute hiding Jews, but luckily the ditch was dug deeply enough and was cleverly concealed with blackberry plants. As a child, I had always loved picking fresh berries from these same bushes, and hearing these stories left me in awe of the history behind them. 

The couple survived these dangerous searches and was eventually able to escape to America. They later sent my great grandfather money for a horse as a token of appreciation for protecting them, knowing both they and my family would have been executed if they had been caught. These stories taught me many lessons about the sanctity of life and to be appreciative of my own. I would use them to as a reminder whenever I felt unhappy or unsatisfied with anything in my life. And truth be told, I still do. I think about the childhood my grandfather and family had and say, “what could we possibly complain about today?” These stories have created a firm personal believe that as a species, people are amazing at adapting to the good and the bad.

Jan joined the Polish army in 1957 and married the love of his life, Zofia, in 1959. The two would stay together until their death and every day I wear their wedding rings on my necklace to be reminded of their love and endurance.

The second most important highlight of his life came in 1980 when he went to his beloved America 🇺🇸. My grandfather was devoted to the American dream and through his will, and determination, our passage to the land of freedom and opportunity had begun (I would follow 14 years later). He flew to New York City with his $5 travel allowance (and maybe $300 hidden) and got his first job making $110 a week working in the kitchen of the Hebrew Living Centre in Rockaway, NY (how fitting).

My grandfather had several jobs in the city, saving and sending as much money as he could to the family, often going without basic needs for himself. He truly believed in America. Until his last day on Earth, he had a huge American flag in his home in Poland. He believed in all the amazing things America represented and he made sure to instill in me the belief in the American Dream, and that anyone could live it if they worked hard enough. Extremely well read, a lifelong learner, and a supporter of facts over emotions, his personality resonates my own.

Early Years

In June 1985, my grandfather flew back to Poland for the rushed wedding of his daughter, Wioletta, who was pregnant. Baby AT was coming.

Almost all of my early memories in Poland were filled with love, family, and schooling. The hardest parts were my parents moving away to America and the theme of alcoholism which is an unfortunate regularity in Polish communities. Alcoholism would be a storyline that followed me throughout my entire youth.

At the time, Poland was struggling, jobs were limited and everyone was trying to figure out how to survive. Many aspired to move to America, but a majority were never going to be able to – due to a variety of individual issues. From the very beginning, I was taught the value of money and hard work, I was never presented another option. My childhood included school, fishing, camping, soccer and family.

School was always the main priority. Getting A’s was the absolute expectation (a 5 in Poland which is on a numeric system). I remember that getting a B was unacceptable and a C, yeah right. After school, we would rigorously do homework, read and then it was OK to play. My grandparents did not take schooling lightly – it was always the path towards a better future, and the reason for my compulsive (at times manic) work ethic.  

Most of my memories in Poland are with my grandparents (since my parents left for America to start the new life I would eventually have there). My grandfather taught me how to defend myself, to be unrelenting in any effort I took on, and to stay eagerly optimistic. Grandpa was tough, he was known in our family and neighborhood as a guy you didn’t mess with (he never left an injustice go unchecked). In fact, I remember when one of our neighbors in our building (bloki) told the delivery man that my grandparents passed away in an attempt to steal a package sent to us from the United States. Unfortunately for this thief, Grandpa overheard this, ran down the steps, and showed him what happens when you cross his family. The package contained all of our necessities from my parents in America.

Grandma was our caretaker, she maintained everything in the home and was a critical balance to my grandpa’s strong personality. She raised my mom and uncle when my grandpa came to work in America and would do the same for me when my parents left. Babcia Zofia taught me perseverance in tough times, to be dependable, and most importantly, how to love unconditionally.

The American Dream

My father moved to the United States when I was three and my mother followed when I was six. I was fortunate to come to America when I was nine. I still remember everything about that trip, a journey that would be a pivotal moment of my life. First, I could not tell any of my lifelong friends I was leaving because that’s what you did in Poland at that time (just as my grandpa, mom and dad had). Anytime someone from the family was leaving, you didn’t share the news with anyone because people may have envy or evil intentions (not everyone was lucky enough to get a Visa, although many wished for one). I still remember saying bye to my friends that night knowing I might never see them again and having to play it off like it was any other day, any other departure.

I landed in New York City, like my grandfather, and when I walked through the arrival gate I was grabbed by my Uncle Darek who took me to my parents. Mom and Dad were both hysterical, as you can image, having not seen their son for so long. Not just relieved to be with them again, I also felt extremely privileged – I was finally in this incredible place. I do remember deeply missing my grandparents and wanting to go back to Poland, but, despite my yearning for them, I was able to assimilate to my new life quickly.

A Legacy Through Generations: The Painting

In the heart of my family room hangs a painting that has been passed down from my great grandmother Bronisława Trzaskus, on my father's side. Every time I gaze upon it, I am filled with a sense of wonder and gratitude. This painting is more than just a beautiful work of art, it represents the journey of my family and our collective history, and the impact they've had.

The scene depicted in the painting is the farm where my great grandmother lived in Poland, and on the left side of the canvas stands a blacksmith shop, owned (proudly) by my great grandfather. This is where the story began. As a blacksmith, he spent his days working with metal, using his tools to create functional and decorative items. With each strike of his hammer, he molded and shaped the metal into something practical or beautiful.

The legacy of my family's ingenuity continued with my grandfather (again fathers’ side), who lived not far from this farm. He built a small factory on his property where the family and workers would toil, day and night, building and selling radiators. Radiators that would bring warmth to homes, coolness to cars, and keep electronics functioning. The technology-driven processes they used were a testament to their progress, and their desire to create something that would make a lasting impact.

Although I loved my grandfather, and I felt he loved me, we were never close. When I was young in Poland he moved to the US, we would visit him in Chicago a couple of times, and connect every few years. Despite our limited time together, I have come to realize that he has had a profound impact on me. My grandfather was captivated by the world of technology and computers for his entire life. He was enamored by the development of the PC, the emergence of early computers, and preliminary computer software. At a young age my grandfather gifted me my own personal computer. I was spellbound by the endless possibilities this technology offered, and spent countless hours tinkering with every program, screen, and configuration. It was through this gift that my love for technology was born.

Through this early gift, to my time today, technology has played a pivotal role in life. Fast forward a few decades I had the privilege to lead Digital Transformation at Deloitte and other firms, helping brands drive innovation and technology-led strategies. Technology is a critical part of my existence across my career, personal passion, and undoubtedly my future. The painting on my wall is a reminder of my family's journey, the stories of the generations before me, and the impact they've had on my life. I am forever grateful.

Jersey

My time in New Jersey was amazing, Jersey is a formidable place to grow up. We lived in Lawrenceville, which is a town between Princeton and Trenton. To explain the dynamic, Princeton is one of the most affluent, upper-class cities in the state (think Princeton University), while Trenton is exceedingly drug and crime ridden (top three year-over-year in violent crime rates). Comparing the differences between Trenton and Princeton, only but a few miles away from each other, is astounding.

Streets gave me all I write in the song
Hootie baby-sitted, changed my diapers
Gil introduced me to the game that changed my life up
East Trenton grew me, had me skipping school
Valencia's boyfriend Volvo had me making moves
Momma raised me, pop I miss you
- Jay-Z Blueprint (Momma Loves Me)

I am both very much Princeton and Trenton, a boy from “between the tracks” not on the other side of them. I got my goal orientation from Princeton and my hustler mentality from Trenton. Luckily for me, Lawrenceville was very heterogeneous. More importantly, my immediate group of friends were extremely diverse, including Lou from Argentina, Ryan who was African-American, Darek from Poland, Tim who was Irish/Italian, and Gus from Guatemala. We all lived as brothers. Being an immigrant and growing up with no siblings, these brothers had my back no matter our background. We were fortunate to all live without racism in our close ecosystem – although it was certainly around us. 

My mom was a lifelong cleaning lady and my father was in construction and roofing (typical for eight out of ten Polish families in our community). While there was a big group of Polish children in the area that spent time together, I didn’t feel like I belonged to one group. I appreciated and spent time with many different types of people – different cultures, different points of view. I had friends who I played sports with, friends who were very intelligent, friends who only wanted to party, friends who were businesses savvy, and a few troublemakers when the time called for it.

Coming from Poland, I was considerably more advanced at math but didn’t speak any English, nor did my parents so they weren’t able to help with my schoolwork (although the expectation to still make top grades remained). Many countries outside the U.S. are one to three years more advanced in math, which was beneficial for me in assimilating into the curriculum while learning the language. This allowed me to help other students with their math assignments and they helped with my reading – a perfect barter system. Fortunately, at a young age, our brains are like sponges for new languages and I became conversational quickly.

On the topic of bartering, the idea of money, or the lack thereof, was always an influence of our life in Poland and it followed us to the States. Therefore, I always had an inborn appreciation for work and the almighty dollar. From when I was 13, I conceived of a multitude of ways to make money – from a newspaper route that turned into selling newspapers, selling new music albums, buying equipment and DJing, to working as a busboy in area Italian restaurants. Eventually, I turned this work ethic into internships at Trenton City Hall (Leaders of Tomorrow) and at CIS Management (more to come on that). My grandpa’s work mentality was forever ingrained in my being.

My mom often jokes about me having my own money when I was young, and that I was always curious and analytical about how much people earned doing various things. Ok, so you can make $10 an hour cleaning houses, it was consistent but tough work. You can make $20 an hour doing roofing but it’s exceedingly unreliable, not to mention difficult and dangerous. And then other people had mansions and incredible lifestyles by going into office buildings, wearing nice clothes and doing what seemed like just talking to people. Princeton business men, and those working on Wall Street, is what inspired me to get a solid education and aim for a successful career at the corporate level. 

Throughout high school, I was able to find a strong balance between work and fun. My circle of friends and my mom were the epicenters of my wellbeing and I love them all to this day. Along the way, I made lifelong friendships, fell in love, and made wonderful memories. No one else in my immediate family went to college, so the application process was a little challenging. I was fortunate to take part in things like SAT classes because my girlfriend was doing it, otherwise I may not have learned about the opportunity or the importance.

Things were not always as positive and joyful as the rest. This is how the storyline of alcoholism followed me to the states. This was certainly the most painful part of my childhood. Although my parents had a lot of love for each other at one point, their marriage would turn into an over-extended calamity. This certainly had a deep impact on my adult life, in my exceedingly high expectations for relationships, and my intense focus on self-reliance. In the end, we all survived, and it made us into the people we are today.

College Education

I would apply to several school across Philadelphia, NYC and Boston for a variety of reasons, not all of them academic (a friend’s friend went there, schools with good sports teams, etc.). It was a sporadic process due to the large number of schools and degrees and little adult direction. On my tour of St Joseph’s University, I felt an immediate connection with the campus. This was the first and only school I visited with my mom and stepfather. The campus was astounding, the buildings were historic (founded in 1851), they had a nationally-known basketball team, offered a comprehensive and deeply-focused education, and touted a long Jesuit institution history. At the end of the tour we were in awe, but my mom started crying not knowing if we would be able to afford the tuition. I’ll never forget her face sitting in that office. We’d make it work. And we did.

There is no time in my life that makes me feel more nostalgic than my undergrad years at St. Joseph's University. I remember like it was yesterday, walking to my mailbox every day to check for my admissions letter. I applied to two schools within my target range, a “reach” school and St. Joe’s. I received an acceptance from another school in Philadelphia a week earlier and the welcome package was huge, everything I needed to know. Then the tiny envelope from St. Joseph’s arrived. You could tell instantly that there was only one piece of paper in it, and my heart dropped. Nonetheless, the letter congratulated me on my admission, and I eagerly accepted. Those four years were filled with an incredible amount of craziness, love, knowledge, entrepreneurship and friendship.  

During my time at St. Joseph’s I became a lifelong learner, developing a love and hunger for knowledge. This was different from my childhood because the emphasis was formerly focused on doing well in school (grades) and working hard (effort). Those characteristics were then fueled by the appreciation of knowledge. A private university, St. Joseph’s has many prerequisites for graduation across a multitude of courses, including science, philosophy, religion, art, business and more. I was learning about the teachings of St. Thomas Aquinas, molding clay of in-person nude models, debating for and against the death penalty, studying the ionic bonding of chemicals – along with all of my required business courses. I found this overarching curriculum to be fascinating, it fostered a well-rounded, open-minded view of the world. 

While earning my Bachelor of Science in Business Management, I started work at Armani Exchange. The commissions were great, the discounts incredible, and sales came naturally to me. Look good and make money? A win-win. After Armani, I decided to start my own business – BT Promotions. One of the best experiences of my life, I had the opportunity to hire my friends to work with numerous venues in establishing and promoting their brands. This introduced our team to business development, relationship management and brand growth. While BT Promotions was an opportunity to have fun and make money, I was more motivated by results. So, for our biggest events and launches, until the evening was a full-blown success, I would not take time to relax nor celebrate. After it wrapped, well that was a different story.

St. Joe’s was a special time in my life, but as all good things come to an end, me and my closest friends were excited to graduate and move to the next chapter in our lives. I was ready to trade in BT for my first official corporate position at CIS Management.

Community Investment Strategies

CIS Management is a leading property management company that touts a portfolio of more than 35 properties. They specialize in all aspects of multi-family, affordable, and senior 55+ housing. CIS was founded by Christina Foglio, one of the most challenging and most driven CEOs I would ever have the privilege of working with (Chris is married to Doug Palmer, Trenton's first black mayor). I was fortunate enough to get an internship with CIS years earlier (my mom had worked for Chris), so I could call her when I graduated to see if she had anything full-time. She directed me to contact William Dailey, the new company president, so I met him. Our interview turned into a six-hour event, including dinner and a few drinks. William, to this day, is one of the most impactful people in my life and sits on the “Adrian Board of Directors.”

William taught me a lot, but the most important thing he showed me was the value of career mentorship and guidance. Outside of your effort, no other accelerator is more significant than mentorship. Nothing. Finding someone who will challenge you beyond your limits, guide you with the explicit objective of watching you succeed, and direct you through the inevitable political slush, is incalculably valuable. Following his example, the advice I now offer others is to focus keenly on finding a mentor within the first six months of any new career opportunity. If you’re unable to, move on. It’s that important to success.

One of the main lessons William would instill in me is the impact our goals and expectations have on our results. If you plan to lift 100 pounds, you will get to 90, maybe 95, and hopefully, 100. But if you commit to lifting 200 pounds, you will crush 100 pounds easily. That’s the expectation he had on every project we led. If we had 100 units, we needed 500 applicants. That’s what we did, and it worked. He compared this effort to a famous boxer, who said he always tried to punch through his opponent’s head with every jab he threw.

Travel

We all have reasons (or sometimes excuses) for what motivates us, pushes us forward, and reveals our willingness to work extensive hours. These reasons can be family, stability, fear, love, obsession, competition, passion, escape, excitement, and many other ingredients I relate to. For me, several stem from relying on circumstances I wanted to move away from and couldn't - causing an indispensable desire for independence. However, one reason that will always motivate me, founded in love, is to have the ability to travel the world, experience unique and different cultures, and give and take energy from astonishing places around the globe.

The late host of Parts Unknown on CNN, Anthony Bourdain, has a special place in my heart. I explored beautiful and diverse locations worldwide through Parts Unknown and yearned to visit them personally. Anthony was why I first traveled to Asia and would continue to take trips for the rest of my life. The part of the show I cherished the most was how alike we all are; notwithstanding our nationality, race, gender, wealth, political affiliation, sexual orientation, or beliefs, we are very much alike. We all want to be loved, we all want to progress and do better, and we all want to be free.

As I type this, I enjoy sitting in Sorrento, Italy. I feel peace in a country where I don't speak the language; I crave this feeling for the unknown, to experience something unusual, to see something my eyes haven't witnessed before, to taste something my mouth hasn't recognized. My travel wish list is getting shorter and longer at the same time each year. If we all traveled more to genuinely engage with strangers, we would be much more compassionate, understanding, and willing to love.

Kobie

My stepfather Abraham was one of my early career mentors, and his nephew, Michael, the president of Kobie Marketing (a loyalty program platform and technology company), agreed to meet with me for a quick interview if I covered the cost of my flight and hotel – which I was more than ecstatic to do. So, I hopped on a plane to Florida; the rest was history.

Kobie allowed me to move to Florida and lead some of the most significant loyalty MarTech projects for global brands and their partners, including Verizon, Synchrony Financial, AMC Theaters, GAP, T.J. Maxx, Best Buy, Williams-Sonoma, RBC Bank, Facebook, Amazon, PetSmart and many more. I began my career at Kobie as a technical project manager, was promoted to the client side as Director of Client Services leading growth accounts, and finally moved to the consulting group as a Loyalty Consultant to share my knowledge from my previous roles.

My experiences, learnings, and life changes throughout my time at Kobie could fill a book. Instead, here are the top four business lessons I took away from these seven years: 

1.    Companies will only make large investments ($1M+) with someone they have a personal connection with – no exceptions
2.    A complete team has three strong leads across technology, client management, and operations – no exceptions
3.   Setting clear expectations is the foundation of any successful relationship
4.   Your career can never replace your health, happiness, or love – top performers have an appropriate balance

Merkle/Dentsu

I spent ~4 years working at Merkle/Dentsu, a global customer experience and advertising company with ~$9B in annual revenues and 66K employees. I had the privilege of overseeing sales engineering for their flagship loyalty platform, leading the GTM strategy and ongoing client management worldwide. I then accepted the role of Vice President of Salesforce Solutions to unify 8 geographically dispersed teams creating enterprise programs and solutions built upon Salesforce & Dentsu proprietary technologies under a single global umbrella.

My top three lessons from my time at Merkle/Dentsu:

1. Technology changes are accelerating faster than ever before; lifelong learners separate themselves from the pack
2. Best leaders hire top talent, provide guidance, and get out of the way
3. A “no” could be one of the powerful gateways to a big “yes”

Deloitte

I currently have the honor of leading various Digital & BusinessTransformations at Deloitte.

What’s Next

My journey continues to evolve. More stories and lessons unfold daily. Most importantly, in my current life, I have the honor of working at an incredible organization, am still bonded with my family & friends, more to come.